 |
PLAYS by
KEITH JOHNSTONE
To read play excerpts, click on the title. A new page will open, and then you can click 'back' on your browser to return to this page.
"Many people find my adult plays disturbing but isn't the whole universe
disturbing? Anyway, be warned. And I apologise for not being about to write more
comfortable plays. Here are extracts from a few of the ones I like."
- Keith Johnstone |
Various plays are available through Keith's manager. Click on contact if you are interested in obtaining copies.
CHILDREN'S PLAYS
Frog Wife
FULL-LENGTH PLAYS
Crusoe
Moby Dick
The Last Bird
The Cord
They Came by Night
SHORT (TILT) PLAYS
Geronimo
I Want to Get Into You
Marg
The Invitation
|
|
FROG WIFE
An excerpt from the play by Keith Johnstone.
return to books and plays
The opening of Scene Two:
Prince Ivan must marry the person that his arrow lands beside.
Narr. (DURING BLACKOUT) Prince Ivan went over hills and through
forests, and he came to a great swamp, where his feet were always in
danger of sinking into the mud, and they squelched each time he put
his foot down. The whole day had gone past and he still hadn't found
the arrow.
LIGHTS UP TO SHOW IVAN ENTERING. EVERY TIME IVAN TAKES A STEP, OR
LEAPS FROM CLUMP TO CLUMP, SQUELCHING SOUNDS ARE MADE ON THE
MICROPHONE BY THE NARRATOR.
Ivan How could my arrow have reached all the way to here?
Frog (HIDDEN) Welcome to the swamp.
Ivan Augh! Who's there?
HE PULLS OUT HIS SWORD?
Frog (HIDDEN) Welcome to the swamp.
Ivan Show yourself.
FROG EMERGES FROM UNDER EDGE OF THE PARACHUTE MATERIAL. SHE IS
DRESSED IN A GREEN FROG-SUIT THAT HAS A YELLOW FRONT, AND SHE WEARS
FROGMAN'S FEET AND A GREEN BATHING HAT. SHE SHOULD BE VERY PLEASED AND
ENTHUSIASTIC AND CHEERFUL.
Ivan Oh it's just a frog.
Frog Welcome to the swamp.
Ivan How big is this swamp?
Frog It goes on for ever.
Ivan (TO FROG) Forever! I shot an arrow and where it lands I will find
my bride. (TO AUDIENCE) But I'll never find the arrow here.
Frog (PLEASED) Yes you will.
Ivan What do Frogs know?
Frog Frogs know everything.
Ivan Frogs just sit out here and eat flies all day. Anyway, what sort
of wife can I find here? Perhaps a eel-catcher's daughter.
Frog Not an eel-catcher's daughter.
Ivan Perhaps a Frog-hunters daughter.
Frog Not a Frog-Hunter's daughter.
Ivan Just because you're an expert on mud and flies you think you know
everything.
Frog Frogs do know everything.
IVAN WALKS OFF-STAGE INTO THE DARKNESS
I know something that you don't know.
Ivan Really.
Frog Yes, Prince Ivan.
IVAN RETURNS
Ivan How do you know my name? And what do you know that I don't know?
Frog I know where the arrow is!
Ivan You do!
SHE SHOWS HIM THE ARROW
So I am in the right place! Was there a woman here with golden hair,
and a laugh like sleigh-bells, and a swan-white neck, and eyes as blue
as heaven.? (CALLS OUT) Haallooo! Haaallloooooo! Hallooooo!
Frog No one like that in this swamp.
Ivan There must have been someone.
Frog (PLEASED) Only me.
Ivan Only you.
Frog The arrow landed beside me.
Ivan Beside you?
Frog (PATS STAGE BESIDE HER) Right beside me.
Ivan Well that can't be my arrow.
Frog (POINTS TO NAME) It's got your name on it! (READS) Prince Ivan.
(POINTS TO NAME) Ivan.
Ivan Well, well all right. I'll go back to the Palace and fire it
again.
Frog That's not fair!
Ivan My arrow, please.
Frog You're not going to marry me? (TO CHILDREN) He's supposed to
marry me! Isn't that right? He's got to marry the person the arrow
lands beside.
Ivan What! What did you say!
Frog Ribbit!
Ivan Did you say marry me? A Prince can't marry a Frog.
Frog Marry me!
Ivan Give me that arrow. That arrow was meant for somebody else.
Frog Marry me.
Ivan I can't.
Frog Please marry me.
FROG WEEPS
Ivan (SORRY FOR HER) Look.....
Frog Why won't you marry me?
Ivan No! This is silly
Frog Tell me - is it my colour.
Ivan No, no, it's a very good colour.-.for a Frog.
Frog Is it my feet? Are they too big?
Ivan No, they're very nice feet - for a Frog.
Frog (TAKES A FEW JUMPS) I'm good at jumping.
Ivan I don't doubt it.
Frog (SWIMS ON THE PARACHUTE MATERIAL) I'm a great swimmer.
Ivan Yes, well It's been nice talking with you. Give me the arrow and
I'll be off.
Frog It's because I'm a frog isn't it.
Ivan (IMPATIENT) Yes, of course it's because you're a frog.
Frog I knew it!. You're prejudiced!
# # #
return to books and plays
|
|
