I WANT TO GET INTO YOU

PLAYS by KEITH JOHNSTONE

“Many people find my adult plays disturbing but isn’t the whole universe disturbing? Anyway, be warned. And I apologise for not being about to write more comfortable plays. Here are extracts from a few of the ones I like.” – Keith Johnstone

 

Various plays are available through Keith’s manager. Click on contact if you are interested in obtaining copies.

 

CHILDREN’S PLAYS

Frog Wife

 

FULL-LENGTH PLAYS

Crusoe

Moby Dick

The Last Bird
The Cord 

They Came by Night

SHORT (TILT) PLAYS

Geronimo
I Want to Get Into You
Marg

The Invitation

An excerpt from the play by Keith Johnstone.

(A stranger invades Casey's Apartment.)

Casey ......Where's your ID.

 

Soul I don't have any ID.

 

Casey Well that's incriminating. What's your name?

 

Soul They don't give us names.

 

Casey I'm letting the police handle this.

 

Soul I can explain....

 

CASEY GOES TO PHONE

 

Casey Better make it quick.

 

Soul I was hoping to introduce the topic more gradually.

 

Casey 'Too late for that!'

 

Soul I wouldn't want you to reject the idea out of hand.

 

Casey Try me.

 

Soul I'm your soul!

 

Casey My what?

 

Soul Your soul!

 

Casey Are you on drugs?

 

Soul You were still-born, so I gave you up, but then you were revived,

and they wouldn't let me try another baby: they said it had to be you!

 

Casey You're mad!

 

Soul Haven't you always felt that life was cold, and bleak, and

miserable? You said yourself there hasn't been one moment when being

smashed on the head with an iron bar wouldn't have been doing you a

service! Aren¹t you saving up your pills in the Bathroom so you can

commit suicide?

 

Casey (SHOCKED) Who told you that?

 

Soul Planning to kill yourself - that always brings people to their

attention.

 

Casey Whose?

 

Soul The beings in the other world. 'Look!' they said: 'There it is!

There's your body, and it's thinking of ending it all. Get up there

and take possession'.

 

Casey Up?

 

Soul Figure of speech. Souls leap into babies when they're born.

 

Casey Oh come on!

 

Soul I'll show you!

 

SOUL TRIES TO LEAP INTO CASEY. BOTH CRASH TO THE FLOOR.

 

Casey What are you doing?

 

SOUL IS ON TOP OF CASEY

 

Soul I've got to get into you!

 

Casey Get off!

 

THEY SEPARATE

 

Soul (MOVES AWAY - GIVING UP) I can't do it! I can't merge! It must be

because you're an adult.

 

Casey I don't know what your game is, Mister, but....

 

THEY STAND CONFRONTING EACH OTHER, SOME WAY APART

 

Soul Perhaps it would help if we had sex!

 

Casey Oh no! No way! Move away from that phone.

 

GOES FOR THE PHONE AGAIN. SOUL WRESTLES HIM

 

Soul I'm not giving you up after all these years!

 

Casey Let me go!

 

Soul You need me. You'll be re-born. I'll have....Augh!....

your...Oof!....Unending gratitude...

 

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LOOSE MOOSE HAMLET poster (Art work by K