PLAYS by KEITH JOHNSTONE
“Many people find my adult plays disturbing but isn’t the whole universe disturbing? Anyway, be warned. And I apologise for not being about to write more comfortable plays. Here are extracts from a few of the ones I like.” – Keith Johnstone
Various plays are available through Keith’s manager. Click on contact if you are interested in obtaining copies.
SHORT (TILT) PLAYS
An excerpt from the play by Keith Johnstone.
(Extract - Thelma arrives home with Paul. Nasty things happen to him)
SHE RETURNS WITH THE BEERS
Er, Paul...I don't make this a habit you know. Picking men up in
bars - it's not my style.
Thelma The glasses are in the sink.
Paul Tastes better from the bottle.
THEY OPEN A BEER EACH AND DRINK. AWKWARD PAUSE
I didn't know anyone lived in this part of town.
Thelma It's just that when I saw you, I thought....well I don't
know....I mean, I have fantasies of course, but I don't usually act
Paul You're very attractive.
Thelma Am I?
Paul I couldn't keep my eyes off you. (PAUSE?) Actually I thought I
picked you up!
Thelma I did sort of put myself in your way.
PAUL TRIES TO KISS HER
Thelma Not yet, look I er....
Paul What is it? There's no need to be....
Thelma I'm not...It's just.....
Paul You said you had fantasies.
Thelma Doesn't everyone? I mean - what's your fantasy?
Thelma Go on.
Paul Er...I mean....um...I've often imagined doing it while people
Thelma We could sell tickets.
Paul (PAUSE?) So what's yours? What's your fantasy?
Thelma Actually I er....well....
Thelma I'm......orally fixated.
I like to do it......more than, you know, the other. I'm very good.
Do you mind?
Paul No...er....not at all.
Thelma Please, if you'd rather....
Thelma It doesn't....
Paul That's great, actually.
Thelma I think people should be up front. About their likes and
Thelma What I've always wanted - don't look at me - is bring some
great guy back with me, and....
Paul Tell me.
Thelma And tie him to the bed, tight. And then....
Thelma Drive him crazy till neither of us can stand it a moment
Paul No, no, really.
Thelma ....Spoiled it.
Thelma I've put you off?
Paul Oh God no, it's the nineties.
TRIES TO EMBRACE HER BUT SHE SLIPS AWAY.
Thelma No don't. The point is I take the responsibility! You put
yourself entirely in my hands.
Paul Oh Christ.
Thelma (BECOMING 'BOSSY' FOR FUN) On the bed!
# # #