THE CORD

PLAYS by KEITH JOHNSTONE

“Many people find my adult plays disturbing but isn’t the whole universe disturbing? Anyway, be warned. And I apologise for not being about to write more comfortable plays. Here are extracts from a few of the ones I like.” – Keith Johnstone

 

Various plays are available through Keith’s manager. Click on contact if you are interested in obtaining copies.

 

CHILDREN’S PLAYS

Frog Wife

 

FULL-LENGTH PLAYS

Crusoe

Moby Dick

The Last Bird
The Cord 

They Came by Night

SHORT (TILT) PLAYS

Geronimo
I Want to Get Into You
Marg

The Invitation

An excerpt from the play by Keith Johnstone.

(Teen-age John is still tied to his Mother by a huge umbilical cord)

Mum You don’t normally complain. You was always on at me to come out

in the street and play skipping games. What do you want to do you

can’t do when I’m here?

 

John Oh…….Lots of things.

 

Mum You want to hang around street corners getting young girls into

trouble.

 

John No I don’t, Mum.

 

Mum We had that nice Jennifer Sindbad over for tea the other day.

 

John She’s silly.

 

Mum She do better at school than you do!

 

John She’s all spotty. And people keep coming up to pat her hump.

 

Mum She can’t help that, poor girl. No, you want one of they fancy

women. You don’t want the sort of girl you can bring home to me

 

John Well, I’m fed up. You know how it itches in hot weather, and

everyone laughs at that stupid lagging you knit for it in the winter!

 

Mum You’d be the first to complain if we caught a chill in it.

 

John Can’t I ever have a life of my own?

 

Mum Life of your own? What ingratitude! Didn’t I suffer for you?

Didn’t I lie hour after hour in the most appalling agony. We had

bucket after bucket of hot water. The Doctor helped with his forceps.

The Nurse helped push. They could hear me screaming right up

Forestreet!

 

PAUSE

 

(FIRMLY) And that was just your conception!

 

LET THE AUDIENCE THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE. THEN ‘KNOCK KNOCK’.

ENTER SPOTTY, HUMP-BACKED, GOOD-NATURED JENNIFER SINDBAD, WHO IS

REALLY VERY SWEET AND NICE. SHE HAS TRIED TO ‘MAKE THE BEST OF

HERSELF’. SHE CARRIES A CLOTH FILLED WITH DOMINOES

 

Jennifer Anybody home?

 

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